Over the past six months I haven't felt very excited about this continuing road of education that I'm on. That's not just because it is still continuuing when everyone else has stopped. I've struggled with my plans, department politics, U of U's lack of funding and organization, etc. etc. But today things are different. I am thrilled to be here doing this. My friends are in offices with bosses and I am in a cushy chair by a window at the library reading an article titled "Demography, Feminism, and the Social-Science Policy Nexus". I mean really, who is so lucky that they get to stay in school 7.5 years with more to go? I have been dreading studying for this giant exam, but it isn't as bad as I have feared. Sometimes just starting is the hard part.
I love that I'm my own boss. I decide my schedule every day. Which means that I take walking breaks, eat lunch whenever I get hungry, and can pick any location across this big city to do my work. I really do like learning new things. Being a repository for social facts isn't particularly helpful in the social scene, but the daily push is a good feeling. I like that I can still come home each day and say, "Guess what I learned today?" I really love that I can where whatever I want each day. In other words, no heels and hose for me. Blue jeans and sneakers.
Sometimes I am sick of being poor. I get tired of still doing homework at night. I'd love good health insurance. Still wish I knew what would happen when this ends (assuming I pass that big exam). But I am all too aware that I am one of the very lucky few who get an education. Not just a minimal amount, but as much as one can possibly obtain. I study society and I know that if I was a woman born in a different time period, of a different race, to a different culture, to a different socioeconomic position none of what I do would be possible. That makes me even luckier, even more blessed. It's a good, new year.
So excuse me, because I still need to read "Historical Demography: Achievements and Prospects" and "Demography: Past, Present, and Future" before I can go home.